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Embarrassing Beauty Blunders

Dion Addams

Ladies, take a seat and enjoy a little advice from someone who has made almost every beauty blunder there is to make and I'm 100% sure there are many more that I am yet to make. Do not make the same mistakes as me. Follow my simple tips, guides and advice and hopefully you'll be free of the beauty blunders curse. If you've already been through them, then enjoy reminiscing on your now laughable mishaps!

A heated situation...

So there I was, preparing for that exciting romantic night ahead. Butterflies in the tummy, thoughts of music, passion and adventure racing through my wild imagination when... CRAP!!! “What's that smell?”. You know that smoky R.I.P, goodbye forever hair scent . There sizzling upon that hot looking curling rod was my once nice fresh locks that had now completely burned and detached from my head. Let's just say I had to go on that date with a dead fizzled hair clump and a lingering aroma of burned beauty. Surprisingly though, he asked for a second date!

My advice:

  • Always always always use a great heat protection spray when styling your hair. This will help to protect it whilst ensuring your hair smells fresh and beautiful.
  • Do not lose yourself in your thoughts when you have a heated appliance near your body (no matter how good those thoughts are) It's just not worth the possible burn or bald patch!
  • If a beauty blunder occurs before a date, just go for it anyway. Chances are he'll appreciate your courage and perhaps he'll have you laughing about it later on!
Lady drying long dark brown hair with hair dryer

 

Did you say 'Tan' or 'Tango'?...

Nothing beats that mid summer glow, your skin looks incredible and you wear the smallest clothes you own to show off that said glow. It'd be great if that summer tan would just stick around all year right?! Unfortunately Britain is known for rain and clouds not dazzling sunshine, therefore we either burn our delicate skin to death on sunbeds or perhaps the less drastic option... Fake tan. So girls through those winter months we've got to fake it till we make it (through to summer). Fake tanning is easy right? Hahaha yeah I thought so too. My first application... Having purchased a 'One night only instant tan' I was dying to get it on for the big night out with the girls. My vision was that I'd look naturally sun kissed and with no developing time either, I wondered why I'd never thought of this before. So there I go... Showered, shaved, applied the tan which was in a little bronze tube that seemed to glisten just like it promised to do on my skin. Great! It smeared on easily like body paint and my legs looked instantly bronzed. I continued up my body... and on to my face! I know I know!!!! Anyway I thought I looked INCREDIBLE with my new all over deep bronzed shimmer tan. Strutting my stuff on the dance floor and walking that sassy walk around the bar. I'd never felt better. That was until I got caught in the rain between changing bars. To my horror upon arriving into the second bar I noticed my arms had streaks of rain water WASHING AWAY MY TAN! OMG it gets worse. Not only had my bronze tan now turned a funny shade or ORANGE but my arms, my legs, my stomach (the days of belly tops) and MY FACE had been completely ruined! I looked like an oversized tiger or a ginger zebra. I left immediately. By the time I got home (crying with embarrassment) I had nothing left to show for my tan but the remaining little patches where the heavy rain had missed. Safe to say I threw the wash off tan away and didn't touch a self tanner for many years after.

My advice:

  • Do not use a wash off tan... Unless you just want to put it on then wash it straight off. This is a ridiculous idea.
  • Read reviews on fake tan colours, nobody wants to look like an Umpa Lumpa on a first date. You can get golden tans for light or medium skin without the horrendous orange effect.
  • It is super important to shave, exfoliate and moisturise the night before you tan. This ensures your skin is clean of any product that may interfere with the tanning process.
  • If you don't have anyone to help apply the product to those hard to reach places, consider booking a spray tan. This will ensure an even full coverage avoiding those awful patches.
  • Maybe just wear pants through winter and forget about the whole self tanning thing. It's so much easier.

False Tan Image, Orange Skin.

 

To cream or not to cream?...

A friend of mine raved about a hair removing cream that she just could not live without, being a lover of all things beauty, I thought I'd give it a go. Overdue on shaving and a tad optimistic I opened the brand new hair removal cream with caution. The fragrance was strong and off-putting with an aroma that almost burnt my eyes right out of their sockets, but hey I'd been purposely allowing my wild womanly hair to grow for a few days and it had to go. Feeling brave, I smothered the thick pungent cream over my legs and my new little lady garden. Reading the tube I had to leave this for no longer than 5 minutes. No problem... Or so I thought. Everything was fine for the first minute or so, music was playing, I was miming my best Beyonce in the bathroom mirror when suddenly... A strange warming feeling began to occur around my delicate area. It was almost pleasing for a moment before the FIRE OF HELL began to burn upon my private parts... Jumping into the shower as fast as humanly possible and rinsing the cream away, didn't stop the burning sensation from increasing. I felt as though there was an actual fire in my crouch. It's safe to say I spent the entire evening resting upon a rather necessary ice pack. I have used hair removal cream since this experience however, this cream hasn't ventured anywhere near my delicate lady bits!

My advice:

  • Make sure you do not exceed the required development time on the instructions.
  • DO NOT use any where near your genitals... This is a mistake I will NEVER make again!
  • Use a hair removal cream the day before a date as the odd chemical aroma lingers even after showering.
Lady with bare hair free smooth legs
So folks... there's just a few of my many many beauty blunders. Please do not follow in my clumsy, unfortunate footsteps. However, if you do have a beauty mishap, just remember the hair will grow back, the skin will heal and your ego will recover. So go ahead be adventurous and mix up your beauty regime!

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