Christmas is a very special time of year. It's the time of miracles. A time for family, laughter and friends. There's that special type of atmosphere that only comes at this time of year. You love Christmas I can already tell, I can sense your contagious festive excitement from here... Calm down Santa pants.
Now, my cheeky little Elfie... How would you feel if I told you this Christmas would be your last?
How would you feel if I told you that last Christmas was your last?
Don't worry you're not dying, we're simply banishing Christmas for good! MUAHAHAHAHA!
Move over Grinch... Christmas is OURS!
Naturally wicked has unleashed her fury and it's headed straight for Christmas. Say Goodbye to this old chap...
What? You're now going to tell me how much you love those little 'Jingly bells', 'Ecstatic elves' and tinsel trees... Ewww as if.
How many times must you go through the same old fashioned traditional boring day? Making lists upon lists of ridiculous useless crap to waste your hard earned money on. Just because you wrap it in shiny snowflake paper doesn't stop it from being a tragic waste of money, time and effort. (Unless of course it's a Naturally Wicked Kit, which are so fabulously gift boxed that they don't require shoddy gift wrap)
Think about it... how many new pairs of socks do you need? There is genuinely no longer a need to buy your own socks, relatives will quite happily supply you with a 12 month supply of the bloody things. Smelly sets!!! Who needs 20 bottles of bubble bath or lotion that smells like old people? (sorry old people, I love your lavender soap really)
Money, chocolate and alcohol, now I'd take those. But nobody's giving us those things at Christmas... They're keeping all the good stuff to themselves! And they say it's the time of sharing... YEAH RIGHT, clearly they've never tried sharing chocolates or alcohol with my family!
You love Christmas right? Well what about those adorable little animals, do you love them too? Puppies that grow into unwanted dogs. And don't get me started on turkeys. How many god damn turkeys do you have to eat???? Like come on admit it... even if you are a savage little carnivorous meat digester, Turkey tastes like cardboard. So what are you playing at? Plus he's hardly the most handsome of birds...
Surely you'd enjoy a rich tasty curry or an extra large pizza more. Right?
Then there's the classic Christmas pud. You know that one that sat at the back of Auntie Beryl's dusty tin cupboard fermenting for the past year... Yum... Fresh!
Oh and then there's the “music” if you can even call it that. That God awful sound of cheerful annoying repetitive noise that rings through the air from November through to January that makes me want to rip my own ears off and throw them at Christmas music fanatics.
Listen to the jingles of Christmas through bloody earphones with a volume level that you can barely hear... Please, Thanks!
Well you might enjoy this hyped up day but we've had enough. Naturally Wicked is having Halloween on Christmas this year. A tree of death shall be placed in the corner of the room. We shall play the theme tunes of classic horror films and give our loved ones Trick or Treat surprises. Life is for living and trying new things. Dress up and have fun scaring the pants off your nearest and dearest. Go run through the woods in the dark and feel the excitement of the night. Feel the chilling breath of Jack frost upon your soul.
But most importantly... Do what makes you happy, do what makes you feel most alive. Whether you're into the old Santa guy or you're excited to try out our new 'Decemberween' (ok look, we can discuss the name later). We're not here long enough to endure mundane routine. Just be 100% yourself at all times.
Whilst others may spend their lives judging... you're living your best life!
Happy 'Season Of The WICKED' to you all!