Welcome back you beauties. Hope you've all been wonderfully wicked?
I'm jumping right in this week with something I need to get off my chest. PERFECT MOTHERS ARE A MYTH.... There I said it. It's 100% impossible to be perfect ALL THE TIME especially whilst you're trying to raise little ones. Trust me, I'm learning first hand.
So, I recently joined a FaceBook Page for a little human research (we won't mention the name) but it's a page for mothers and I thought it'd be a fun light-hearted page where busy mums can share experiences good and bad and bond over 'funny mummy moments'. How wrong was I?... This page turns out to be the exact opposite of 'I've locked myself in the storeroom because...' posts and was actually just a page where mothers were full on competing with each other. This blew my mind. As you're probably growing to learn, I'm far far far from perfect. I love my children more than anything but I'm completely winging everything. Heck... I don't even know how I've got this far!
I feel someone needs to speak out and stop all of this fake pretence. We're all the same. We cry when we get overwhelmed and exhausted. We burn the dinner sometimes. We grind our teeth through a fake smile and say subtle threats to our children when they're misbehaving in public. We're all just trying to hold it together even on those days when we're falling apart ourselves. We are mothers, we try our best and we should be supporting each other not competing!
So, for those of you that want to keep it real... I've decided to share just a few of my adulthood/motherhood mess ups (there's been a lot), we all have them and it's time we stop pretending we're perfect.
Here we go... Before meeting the love of my life and moving into our home together, I lived at home with my good old mother. Now I've come to realise that I was extremely spoilt by my mother. She would do everything for me, washing, tidying, cooking, etc. This was great until I moved out and realised I didn't know how to do anything around the house. My partner on the other hand had lived on his own for years, he was a washing, cleaning master. Embarrassing right? I mean surely that was my role? Embarrassment aside my partner showed me the basics of 'doing the housework'. But, there were still some struggles I had yet to face. Take a simple task like washing the laundry. This is straight forward right? Unless you leave a sock hanging out the washing machine door and come back to a flooded kitchen! Or worse, turn all of his whites grey by washing them with a black t-shirt... Oops!
Then there's the whole cooking situation... Who knew that putting a red hot glass oven dish under a freezing cold tap would make it explode? Well, I found out the hard way. Seriously, why does nobody explain these things?! Having mastered basic dishes it was time to make my first roast. Having purchased a chicken, prepared my potatoes and veg I suddenly realised... 'I have no idea what to do'. In a panic I phoned the Mother-In-Law. She confidently guided me through the basic steps of checking the weight and temperature etc. Then she says "Check it's giblets have been removed".... Do you understand what that means? LOOK UP THE CHICKENS ASS HOLE! This was one step too far for me and it's safe to say... We have nutcutlets on our roasts these days!
What about parenting blunders... Well, as you can imagine, I've made quite a few of those too. Whilst on a quick shopping trip to my local store, I was so distracted by my adorable little princess that I accidentally pushed her pram into an enormous tower of toilet rolls. The tower tumbled in slow motion before my eyes and all I could hear was gasps from shoppers and staff. Whilst nervously laughing at my pure idiocy I had to start the process of removing toilet rolls from on top of the pram, digging out my sweet baby girl that'd been buried beneath. I was so embarrassed I never returned to the store again.
When one child becomes two, have you ever forgotten about the new one? Of course you have, we all have... Right? Whilst on my daily walk to drop my princess at morning nursery, I parked my new baby boy outside in his pram, just to the left of the nursery door. For the 60 seconds that I was saying goodbye to my girl I must have completely forgotten that I now have two children and walked right past his pram, over the road and was half way home before the realisation kicked in... "HOLY CRAP I'VE LEFT HIM BEHIND!"... I've never ran so fast in my life. Upon arrival back at the nursery, I saw another mother standing with two nursery staff all surrounding my baby boy in his pram. I earned bad mum of the year award that day!
Now listen, I could go on and on sharing these embarrassing disasters but I'll stop there as I'm only sharing these so you don't have to feel as bad as I have in the past. We are all human and we all make mistakes. Stop listening to these super fake 'Perfect Mum' posts, there's no such thing. Don't tell me her 'perfect' baby has never done an exploding poo. Life is all about learning, some of us just learn the slightly harder way. Don't be hard on yourselves mammas, you're doing the best you can and that's all that matters.
Lesson of the week, if you fxxk up just get back up and carry on. We've got your back Mamma.
Remain Wicked my pretties!