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Feeling Fruity?

Dion Addams

Pineapple Fruits With Party Hats

Welcome back you wicked wanderers. This week we're getting fruity (I do not mean sexually, you dirty devil). I'm talking about discovering some pretty weird and wacky fruits that you didn't know existed!

First Up... Screw Pine

Screw Pine

These are real fruits, we're not just being offensive to pine trees. In my 30 (ish) years on Earth, I've never heard of the damn things. Screw pines have a variety of names around the globe, such as Pandanus or as some people say... 'Panda Anus'. If someone says they enjoy eating 'Screw Pines' you can have a little laugh to yourself about their other name. These humorous fruities can be used for most things from dyes to food. What do you think, fancy a screw pine?

 

The Blue Java

Blue Java Fruit Bunch

Okay, if you love bananas, you're going to fruit heaven right now. Blue Javas are often referred to as ICE CREAM BANANAS. Seriously, the texture of this sweet aromatic fruit is described as 'ice cream' and the flavour is said to be similar to vanilla. Holy smoke... Ice cream bananas are my new favourite thing and I haven't even tried one yet!

 

The Cherimoya

Cherimoya Fruit Sliced and whole

Sounds interesting right? Well, due to it's creamy texture, this fruit has bagged itself the nickname 'Custard Apple'. Not only does it have a fabulous name and nickname, but it is said to be “The most delicious fruit known to man”. Okay so some guy called Mark on Google said that, but it's good enough for me. Mark you have me convinced, I'll definitely try it, cheers for the heads up pal!

 

Kiwano Melon

Kiwano Melon Horned On white background

Okay, so this fruit has one of my favourite nicknames... 'Horned Melon'. This sounds like a super sexually charged fruit. However, the Kiwano is quite tame and mild with a jelly-like edible filling. The flavour is said to be similar to a mix up of cucumber, lime and banana, hmmm I think this sounds like a tropical smoothie!

 

Jabuticaba

black fruit on white background

This strange little fruit grows on the trunk of the tree rather than the branches. It can be eaten fresh from picking, made into delicious jelly or better yet it can be  turned into wine. Looks like a plum, tastes like a grape, makes wine... I'm in!

 

Ugli Fruit

Ugli Fruit on white background

I feel like this is just a really cruel name. Like okay it may not be the prettiest but that's taking it a bit far right? Poor little fruity. Don't turn your nose up at this runt of a fruit, it actually tastes delicious. Similar to a tangerine and grapefruit, it can be eaten raw or squeezed for thirst quenching juice.

 

Dragon Fruit

Dragon Fruit With Pink Flower

Not quite fire spewing but still attention grabbing. This eye-catching fruit is juicy and refreshing with a light flavour similar to a pear or watermelon. It may look complicated to eat but it's as simple as 'slice and devour raw'.

 

Durian

Durian Fruit on black background

This is a weird one, named the 'King of Fruits'. This wacky fruit is actually banned in some places due to its awful odour, resemblant of cabbage, onions, pig poo, gym socks, vomit, etc. If you are brave enough to overcome the horrific fragrance, then the taste is a treat. By treat I mean like Halloween TRICK or TREAT... I do hope your taste buds enjoy a mix of banana, vanilla and ONION! Blahhhhh, I think I'll be running a mile from this fruit!

Right, that's enough fruit for me, sure we've all had our '5 a day' fix. See you next week wicked ones! 


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